I have a sick, sick habit.
I did this randomly a while back, this summer, when I was drunk and my friends had passed out. Then later I did it again. I stopped for a while but Thursday night I couldn't help myself, and last night I needed it again, it kept me up half the night.
I post on Craig's List under Casual Encounters. I write a little vignette of the sort of things I'm wishing I was doing, just straigtforward smut. I've always kinda enjoyed writing that sort of thing. I put a picture or two, as well. A picture of me, without my face, in underwear or something.
Then I watch my inbox fill to the brim. I posted under DC thursday, I got about 75 responses in a half an hour and then they flagged and removed me. I didn't know I could be too dirty for Craig's List! I should win a prize.
Last night I posted the same thing for New York. I got about 250 responses before they removed me.
Lots of gorgeous men, lots of sad sad fucks, lots of married men making me sad and angry, lots of sweet sounding 18 year olds who want to lose their virginties. Lots of "Damn girl, your body is hot as shit!" (it's not) Lots of, "You must be a professional writer, that's better than anything I've read in penthouse!" And a whole lot of, "Are you for real? There's no way you're real"
Initially I'd be like, fuck yeah I'm real! Those pictures are real, I wrote all that, I thought all that, I want all that. But I guess I'm the same as the porn spam bots. I'm not in DC or New York, and even if I was I just don't have the balls to go through with it.
Why would someone do this? Of course I love the piles of praise and enthusiastic feedback. But surely I'm old enough now that I shouldn't be that excited to learn that the barely literate, the 'roided-up guidos, and the bored mid-life-crisis husbands will respond when I lay it out there. I mean, I could say anything, without a picture or flowing prose, I could just say "21 year old college girls wants to fuck".
A few years ago, like when I was a freshman, I was such a slut but I wasn't really having fun. I would go home with random guys because I was always so thrilled that they wanted me. It took me several months of college to become somewhat discriminating and differentiate between wanting someone and wanting them to want me.
Once I figured this out, I was pretty god for a while. Junior year, I'd flirt shamelessly and make out with someone at a party, only to laugh and run away when they asked me to leave with them. But that didn't really cut it, cause I'd still end up going home by myself.
Playing with Craig's List is like that. I have such good intentions, I just want to see what will happen, read some nice emails. A few, though, start to sound really really good. It's a good thing I have the geographical barrier as a safety net, or I might get myself in trouble.
I post on Craig's List under Casual Encounters. I write a little vignette of the sort of things I'm wishing I was doing, just straigtforward smut. I've always kinda enjoyed writing that sort of thing. I put a picture or two, as well. A picture of me, without my face, in underwear or something.
Then I watch my inbox fill to the brim. I posted under DC thursday, I got about 75 responses in a half an hour and then they flagged and removed me. I didn't know I could be too dirty for Craig's List! I should win a prize.
Last night I posted the same thing for New York. I got about 250 responses before they removed me.
Lots of gorgeous men, lots of sad sad fucks, lots of married men making me sad and angry, lots of sweet sounding 18 year olds who want to lose their virginties. Lots of "Damn girl, your body is hot as shit!" (it's not) Lots of, "You must be a professional writer, that's better than anything I've read in penthouse!" And a whole lot of, "Are you for real? There's no way you're real"
Initially I'd be like, fuck yeah I'm real! Those pictures are real, I wrote all that, I thought all that, I want all that. But I guess I'm the same as the porn spam bots. I'm not in DC or New York, and even if I was I just don't have the balls to go through with it.
Why would someone do this? Of course I love the piles of praise and enthusiastic feedback. But surely I'm old enough now that I shouldn't be that excited to learn that the barely literate, the 'roided-up guidos, and the bored mid-life-crisis husbands will respond when I lay it out there. I mean, I could say anything, without a picture or flowing prose, I could just say "21 year old college girls wants to fuck".
A few years ago, like when I was a freshman, I was such a slut but I wasn't really having fun. I would go home with random guys because I was always so thrilled that they wanted me. It took me several months of college to become somewhat discriminating and differentiate between wanting someone and wanting them to want me.
Once I figured this out, I was pretty god for a while. Junior year, I'd flirt shamelessly and make out with someone at a party, only to laugh and run away when they asked me to leave with them. But that didn't really cut it, cause I'd still end up going home by myself.
Playing with Craig's List is like that. I have such good intentions, I just want to see what will happen, read some nice emails. A few, though, start to sound really really good. It's a good thing I have the geographical barrier as a safety net, or I might get myself in trouble.
Labels: bad decisions, getting off, internet mishaps, navel gazing
posted by Sarah at 5:29 PM
8 Comments:
I'm always pleased to hear about your life, however creepy and stalker-esque that may sound.
My sick, sick habit is trying to track you down on Craig's List and Facebook, even tried MySpace. No such luck.
You know, sometimes I really wish we went to the same college, and sometimes I even believe it for a second; maybe you are one of the girls I bump into, who knows?
If we do bump into each other one day, trust me, it would be our lucky day.
Ps. This was not meant to creep you out in any way; I'm really not that bad of a person. Perhaps I'm intrigued.
not really fair to prey upon the horny and the nerdy. though you can definitely tell a guys got some serious game when his big opener is "thats better then anything Ive read in penthouse" my god man, what do you expect. oh do me, do me now you big porn loving stud.
bravo dude, brav.. fucking..o.
still, 250 responses is still 250 responses not bad even for a guilty drunken pleasure.
tattooey- that's good that you can't find me on myspace or facebook, that makes me feel better. my big fear is that some random aquaintence will find my blog and know what a weirdo I am.
I might have to go through these emails again, post some highlights. there were some real gems...
I see. Well, I do hope you're aware that no one would actually think you're a weirdo; in general, there are three types of 20-year-olds: the ones who wish they had your life, the ones who have a very similar lifestyle and the ones who are (if possible) even weirder than you are.
Where I live and especially where I used to live people are very open about their sexually narcissistic lives - however, I would much rather read about the deviations of an American "girl" like you.
Ps. I'm sure your readers would really like to know more about you. (Should translate into: "Please, I'm dying to know more about you.")
I wonder if I answered one of your NYC ads...
anonymous- I really really hope so. "study break?- 21"
Oh, God, I do this too. I even write back a couple times, like we might set something up. Then I just stop. And then I feel guilty.
That you for posting this. Now we both know we're not alone.
Oh, and if you send the pictures in an email reply, instead of posting them to craiglist, you won't get canned so fast.
I love it! I've done the same thing once or twice. I always feel a little guilty later on because I don't wanna get some guys hopes up but i just can't help it...too thrilling.
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