The high school ex and I have the weirdest dynamic imaginable....
Dated in that half assed adolescent way for the first two years of high school. In retrospect, this was the worst time to have a boyfriend, because I didn't have a sex drive at 14/15. I thought I did, but damn, I had no idea. Broke up mostly because we were tired of each other.
Hooked up a bit just for fun for about a month senior year. (I was already all about the no-strings-play when I was 17. I thought I was so enlightened)
Right before I was about to leave for college, he suggested we have sex just because neither of us wanted to go to college as virgins. We meet up, for this purpose, as awkwardly as you would imagine. So awkward that nothing really happens. Just ice cream. We're cool like that.
We periodically talk over AIM, not frequently but always for at least an hour, about our respective sex lives mostly, sometimes getting really flirty (sometimes drunk).
Many times we've made plans to meet up while we were both home and hook up. Every time, he backs the fuck out, usuallly citing something to do with his mom that he can't get out of. By now I've kind of figured out that the boy is all talk, so I tend to agree to whatever because I know nothing will ever materialize and I don't want to have to say no to him. And I think he hasn't had sex in like, over a year.
Earlier this week- "Bad news- I think I'm going to have to go to this dinner thing with my mom Saturday night." Well of course you do, sweetheart. You run along then.
And then later- "Looks like I can get out of dinner on Saturday. But I don't think we can do anything...I kind of injured myself." Only you, dude. Only you.
"How?!?" wait. no.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yeah I guess I don't"
"Angry mastrubation" Fucking what the hell is that?? I said I didn't want to know!! And seriously....what? How.... I mean, I obviously don't know much about it, but what? I want to know more, but at the same time I really really don't. "Yeah you know how I just got circumsiced this summer? I'm not totally used to it, and I cut myself."
We are now so far past the realm of too much information.
I mean, I was pretty much counting on him backing out at some point. We aren't really trying to hook up. We always play this little game of Chicken and I always win. But wow.
Dude, you will do anything not to have sex with me!
Dated in that half assed adolescent way for the first two years of high school. In retrospect, this was the worst time to have a boyfriend, because I didn't have a sex drive at 14/15. I thought I did, but damn, I had no idea. Broke up mostly because we were tired of each other.
Hooked up a bit just for fun for about a month senior year. (I was already all about the no-strings-play when I was 17. I thought I was so enlightened)
Right before I was about to leave for college, he suggested we have sex just because neither of us wanted to go to college as virgins. We meet up, for this purpose, as awkwardly as you would imagine. So awkward that nothing really happens. Just ice cream. We're cool like that.
We periodically talk over AIM, not frequently but always for at least an hour, about our respective sex lives mostly, sometimes getting really flirty (sometimes drunk).
Many times we've made plans to meet up while we were both home and hook up. Every time, he backs the fuck out, usuallly citing something to do with his mom that he can't get out of. By now I've kind of figured out that the boy is all talk, so I tend to agree to whatever because I know nothing will ever materialize and I don't want to have to say no to him. And I think he hasn't had sex in like, over a year.
Earlier this week- "Bad news- I think I'm going to have to go to this dinner thing with my mom Saturday night." Well of course you do, sweetheart. You run along then.
And then later- "Looks like I can get out of dinner on Saturday. But I don't think we can do anything...I kind of injured myself." Only you, dude. Only you.
"How?!?" wait. no.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yeah I guess I don't"
"Angry mastrubation" Fucking what the hell is that?? I said I didn't want to know!! And seriously....what? How.... I mean, I obviously don't know much about it, but what? I want to know more, but at the same time I really really don't. "Yeah you know how I just got circumsiced this summer? I'm not totally used to it, and I cut myself."
We are now so far past the realm of too much information.
I mean, I was pretty much counting on him backing out at some point. We aren't really trying to hook up. We always play this little game of Chicken and I always win. But wow.
Dude, you will do anything not to have sex with me!
Labels: bad decisions, boys, game, internet mishaps
posted by Sarah at 10:50 PM
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