Not interested!
That guy that wants a stupid threesome IMed me again!
"So last time, I was drunk, but we clarified that you aren't into group things right?"
(depends on the group, obviously. What a self-deluding twat)
"Right."
"So you wouldn't want to do anything with me and my girlfriend?"
"Not really, no."
"Not really?"
"No."
I'm terrible, the first time I talked to him I knew that there was no way in hell I could fuck him. I just couldn't. I'm hard up for it and I am not picky but this fucking guy??? He's a bad guy and he verbally abused his ex girlfriend and tried to break her door down (not that she's easy to get along with, but still) and he's not attractive and neither is his girlfriend and he's like 5 feet tall and he has a small penis (I hear.) That last one was dumb. I should have just said no fucking way in hell I would rather die. It's good to be clear, right?
But for some reason I ended up having like a half hour conversation about all the shit they're into, all the toys they have, as if a smorgasboard of dildos and all the details are going to be the deciding factor. "Oh it's purple? Well why didn't you say so! I'm totally down if it's purple!" He also went into what his gf wants, specifically some domme chick who'd be called mistress and fuck her with all this crap and use the riding crop (I do like the iconography of a riding crop, but not that much, and I'd rather be on the other side of it, you know?) I found myself explaining that I don't do Domme at all. This negotiation process is unfamiliar to me. And it's not like you're paying me, douchebag! What makes you think you are in any place to make demands?
I'm trying to just be conversational so I'm like, yeah I've done that, oh wow a 12 inch dildo, yeah I have handcuffs, they're hot, your girlfriend sounds pretty cool... And the next thing I know he says, "so you wanna come watch a movie and drink with us some time?" When this conversation started I said no! I can't even fathom the awkwardness of that situation. I say maybe I'll bump into them at a party or something.
"Are you going to Black Valentine?"
"Ooh yeah that'd be cool, I'll prolly go."
"It's way up the road, we can give you a ride :-)"
No.
Damn it, I figured I could go and mingle and get drunk and make out wiht his gf and then leave at exactly the right time and go to a less terrifying party. I can't even handle that scene, I'm not hardcore enough and I like money and beer pong and I don't know the right obscure bands and I don't smoke enough weed and I'm not wearing anything from a thrift store and my haircut looks like every damn sorority girl.
"Can you think of a good reason why not?" Well, I don't really want to, but I see your point. "Come on, why say no to a night of crazy sex?" Because ya'll are overwhelming, I don't want to be hooking up with a girl, doing a whole group thing, double penetration with dildos and vibrators and strap ons, playing the BDSM angle from, it sounds like, both sides, trying to look good and acting my ass off pretending to be attracted to either of them. It sounds exhausting. The sex industry is not for me. I would need like $300 for that.
"So last time, I was drunk, but we clarified that you aren't into group things right?"
(depends on the group, obviously. What a self-deluding twat)
"Right."
"So you wouldn't want to do anything with me and my girlfriend?"
"Not really, no."
"Not really?"
"No."
I'm terrible, the first time I talked to him I knew that there was no way in hell I could fuck him. I just couldn't. I'm hard up for it and I am not picky but this fucking guy??? He's a bad guy and he verbally abused his ex girlfriend and tried to break her door down (not that she's easy to get along with, but still) and he's not attractive and neither is his girlfriend and he's like 5 feet tall and he has a small penis (I hear.) That last one was dumb. I should have just said no fucking way in hell I would rather die. It's good to be clear, right?
But for some reason I ended up having like a half hour conversation about all the shit they're into, all the toys they have, as if a smorgasboard of dildos and all the details are going to be the deciding factor. "Oh it's purple? Well why didn't you say so! I'm totally down if it's purple!" He also went into what his gf wants, specifically some domme chick who'd be called mistress and fuck her with all this crap and use the riding crop (I do like the iconography of a riding crop, but not that much, and I'd rather be on the other side of it, you know?) I found myself explaining that I don't do Domme at all. This negotiation process is unfamiliar to me. And it's not like you're paying me, douchebag! What makes you think you are in any place to make demands?
I'm trying to just be conversational so I'm like, yeah I've done that, oh wow a 12 inch dildo, yeah I have handcuffs, they're hot, your girlfriend sounds pretty cool... And the next thing I know he says, "so you wanna come watch a movie and drink with us some time?" When this conversation started I said no! I can't even fathom the awkwardness of that situation. I say maybe I'll bump into them at a party or something.
"Are you going to Black Valentine?"
"Ooh yeah that'd be cool, I'll prolly go."
"It's way up the road, we can give you a ride :-)"
No.
Damn it, I figured I could go and mingle and get drunk and make out wiht his gf and then leave at exactly the right time and go to a less terrifying party. I can't even handle that scene, I'm not hardcore enough and I like money and beer pong and I don't know the right obscure bands and I don't smoke enough weed and I'm not wearing anything from a thrift store and my haircut looks like every damn sorority girl.
"Can you think of a good reason why not?" Well, I don't really want to, but I see your point. "Come on, why say no to a night of crazy sex?" Because ya'll are overwhelming, I don't want to be hooking up with a girl, doing a whole group thing, double penetration with dildos and vibrators and strap ons, playing the BDSM angle from, it sounds like, both sides, trying to look good and acting my ass off pretending to be attracted to either of them. It sounds exhausting. The sex industry is not for me. I would need like $300 for that.
Labels: boys, drugs, getting off
posted by Sarah at 10:11 AM
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