I like a boy.

I can't even be ambivalent, I tried. I fought it really hard, but it just got more difficult to convince myself the more emphatically and genuinely he explained himself. The good things (so sexy, so smart, apparantly crazy about me for more reasons than I thought) are irresistable and the bad things just seem like unfortunate misunderstandings and mistakes. Thursday night I just wanted to see him, he drove down.

While he was making the two hour drive I started to get nervous. I'm not as slim, toned, tan, highlighted, coiffed, polished, turned out as I would like to be. I thought about what I should wear, some pretty lingerie set, a little nighty, smokey eye makeup, heels?

Fuck that. I got out of the shower and combed my hair, put on the boxers and white cami I had on before and went back to watching Grey's Anatomy DVDs. There will be time for beautiful lingerie and fuck-me-heels soon.

Once we were in the bedroom he slowly peeled off all my clothes and laid me down on the bed, every inch of me in plain view. I couldn't have felt more comfortable or unselfconscious. "You look so gorgeous when you cum, I just wanna keep making you cum all night." We spent the night so intertwined with each other we couldn't have seen any of each other's flaws anyway.