thanks for that

Just had one of the best self-induced, non battery powered orgasms in a while. I didn't even mean to. An accident. I was thinking about someone I shouldn't be thinking about for like, a list of reasons. Not a reason that would abviously make it hotter, like, “You can't do that, he's your teacher!” or a reason that makes it actully wrong, like “You can't do that, he's 16!” but a reason along the lines of, “You can't do that, that will end very very badly for you, and you should know better.” Normally when that sceario comes up in my head I either find something else to do, or I just... pretend it's someone else, that I have yet to meet, who makes me cum as good as he does but without the negative side effects. I can dream.

I'm hesitant, of course, to get off thinking about him That's soo maladaptive, right? The idea is to hook up with new people. But rather than stop myself this time I let it play out in my head. I was not unreasonable, obviously it's tempting to imagine him saying something like, oh you're so much hotter/better than the girl I'm dating now, but come on, even when rubbing one out I wouldn't be that self indulgent. I mean, no one's that predictable right?

No, actually more fun than feeling superior, I was enjoying the anxiousness I'd enevitably feel in such a situation, ya know, where you want to but you shouldn't... it's fun to imagine the knowing looks that say, Come on I know you're dying for it, your attempts at self control aren't fooling anyone. And as I sat there with his hand up my skirt some part of my brain would be pleading with me to stop him and I'd like to think that I would (in real life), but see, when it's in your head, you can do whatever you want. So, if I did let that shit go down, it might feel something like....ooh just like that. Mmm thanks babe.