Exactly!
It's really too bad, the way these things seem to work. And even understanding why something didn't work, and what you did wrong and being able to pin point the psychological mechanism that invariably ruins you doesn't make you any more capable of doing it right the next time around.
I will never be a Rules kinda girl. It's not that I don't want to play mind games or that I have some naive idea that you should always be yourself. I think I am just incapable of withholding sex as a means of negotiating. I blame this for all my problems. I understand that pursuit is important. It's like, in the first chapter of the social psych textbook. If you have to work hard for something, you're going to convince yourself that it was worth the work. The longer you wait in line to see the movie, the better you think it is. If you take a girl on lots of nice dates and bend over backwards to make her like you and she holds out on you for as long as possible, once you end up with her you aren't going to want to break up with her and admit to yourself how much time you've wasted because that would make you feel like a fool.
I do it too, I would not break up with my boyfriend a year ago because we had spent so much time together and even though we were making each other's lives miserable I didn't want to admit that I'd spent that much time screwing up my life more. I came up with ridiculous justifications, tried to tell myself that being happy all the time was for stupid people, that being unhappy was actually enlightenment, that I would be sadder without him. Obviously this was something worthwhile, or I wouldn't have put all this work in, right?
I know I make things too easy. I want you all the time, I'm happy to suck your dick, I'm thrilled when you touch me, when you make me cum I feel like there's nothing else I could want out of life. I'm saying, it doesn't take that much to make me happy. I don't have high expectations, and I am not trying to change that about myself. I've discovered I like being happy.
It's not in my nature to be challenging! It's counter intuitive to me. If I want you, I feel lucky to get you and I let you know. But I know this is effectively sabotage, clever girls know to act like you're the lucky one, like they're doing you a favor by letting you touch them. I don't mind being the lucky one. I think it's great when I get exactly what I want. I am not that good an actress, I can't pretend that I'm not turned on by you so much as looking at me, I can't pretend that I'm not dying to make you cum, and even though I know I shouldn't make it easy I just can't bring myself to do anything that would make it harder. I don't want to be a chore. I want to be the reward; for what, I don't know or care. I want to be the guilty pleasure, I want to be no work and all play.
Is there some puritanical pro-work ethic mindset that makes you think that it can't be that easy? I firmly believe that you can have it all without any suffering, if you have the presence of mind and the cognitive ability to not feel guilty for having fun. And if not, if you don't buy it, there are plenty of self righteous vindictive emasculating girls out there with hoops for you to jump through, if that helps you sleep at night.
It's really too bad, the way these things seem to work. And even understanding why something didn't work, and what you did wrong and being able to pin point the psychological mechanism that invariably ruins you doesn't make you any more capable of doing it right the next time around.
I will never be a Rules kinda girl. It's not that I don't want to play mind games or that I have some naive idea that you should always be yourself. I think I am just incapable of withholding sex as a means of negotiating. I blame this for all my problems. I understand that pursuit is important. It's like, in the first chapter of the social psych textbook. If you have to work hard for something, you're going to convince yourself that it was worth the work. The longer you wait in line to see the movie, the better you think it is. If you take a girl on lots of nice dates and bend over backwards to make her like you and she holds out on you for as long as possible, once you end up with her you aren't going to want to break up with her and admit to yourself how much time you've wasted because that would make you feel like a fool.
I do it too, I would not break up with my boyfriend a year ago because we had spent so much time together and even though we were making each other's lives miserable I didn't want to admit that I'd spent that much time screwing up my life more. I came up with ridiculous justifications, tried to tell myself that being happy all the time was for stupid people, that being unhappy was actually enlightenment, that I would be sadder without him. Obviously this was something worthwhile, or I wouldn't have put all this work in, right?
I know I make things too easy. I want you all the time, I'm happy to suck your dick, I'm thrilled when you touch me, when you make me cum I feel like there's nothing else I could want out of life. I'm saying, it doesn't take that much to make me happy. I don't have high expectations, and I am not trying to change that about myself. I've discovered I like being happy.
It's not in my nature to be challenging! It's counter intuitive to me. If I want you, I feel lucky to get you and I let you know. But I know this is effectively sabotage, clever girls know to act like you're the lucky one, like they're doing you a favor by letting you touch them. I don't mind being the lucky one. I think it's great when I get exactly what I want. I am not that good an actress, I can't pretend that I'm not turned on by you so much as looking at me, I can't pretend that I'm not dying to make you cum, and even though I know I shouldn't make it easy I just can't bring myself to do anything that would make it harder. I don't want to be a chore. I want to be the reward; for what, I don't know or care. I want to be the guilty pleasure, I want to be no work and all play.
Is there some puritanical pro-work ethic mindset that makes you think that it can't be that easy? I firmly believe that you can have it all without any suffering, if you have the presence of mind and the cognitive ability to not feel guilty for having fun. And if not, if you don't buy it, there are plenty of self righteous vindictive emasculating girls out there with hoops for you to jump through, if that helps you sleep at night.
Labels: boys, game, getting off, girls, mindfuck
posted by Sarah at 6:07 PM
2 Comments:
I usually find guys appreciative about me wanting sex as much as they do. It's so much better when both people know that the other wants it, too. Hell, if I were a guy, I'd feel horrible about fucking a girl who didn't really want me touching her. Must screw up his ego, too.
Girls should never use sex as a weapon. They should use it as nature intended: for intimate connection, stress relief, and children, someday.
Thanks girl.
Man, the process of meeting someone, dating them, then fucking them... is just so foreign to me. I almost need to do it in complete reverse.
What's the point in holding out when it's a tease to yourself anyway?
Fuck it y'know. We're just girls that know what we want. And we get it! :)
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