Thursday, May 15, 2008

"curvy girl"

My girl won America's Next Top Model. I don't have a good reason for wanting her to win- her pictures were totally mediocre and her face is so so pretty to the point of being saccharine. Wanting her to win is pure projection, cause I'm about her size (my boobs are bigger and my waist is smaller and my legs are shorter.... but whatever). Whitney rocked it out in that skimpy gladiator outfit, cause her body is hot, she's in shape. They'd had a girl they called plus sized who was just barely bigger than a sample size, and they'd had girls who would actually wear Lane Bryant. To call Whitney plus size kills me, and it must make her wanna cut a bitch, but ANTM wanted to play that card so good for her.

The judges stayed away from even talking about her size as long as they could, but they had to last night. And it came out sounding pretty level headed. "Whitney isn't a big girl, in the real world she's just a hot chick." "Whitney is the girl the man would want in bed with him, but Anya is the girl that makes you want to buy the dress."

Before I even realized it, I understood this, that as a girl with some curves, my body was put to its best use in bed. My body is an obstacle in most of my life- getting jeans to fit over my hips, getting blouses buttoned across my chest, trying to get through kickboxing or running in spite of my boobs. Any article of clothing I've tried on has highlighted the ways in which my body is different from what they intended. Unless it's lingerie. The few times I've found, and splurged on, a bra that comes in 32 DDD, a weight has literally been lifted. But asthetically, my body makes more sense naked. I've thought for a while that this contributes to why I'm often more comfortable naked, why I don't hesitate in my pursuit of sex, even with guys I don't know all that well. I know that's where I perform best, and of course I'd rather someone see me in my element.

This would be perfectly fine, except that along with this message that I'm best suited for sex more than anything else comes with the message that I am no where near the conventional ideal of beauty. It's hard to know that, while most guys you meet want to fuck you, few would admit to it and even fewer would consider you someone who could be a girlfriend.

I think this is the most deplorable personality trait in guys, to want something in a girl when you're having sex that makes you think less of her, whether it's fetishizing big tits while you only date tiny flat girls because you think it makes you look good, or having less respect for a girl for "letting you" do something your last girlfriend wouldn't or for actually wanting to have sex with you. Something is wrong when guys are ashamed of what they are attracted to, when it's such a biologically normal thing.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now we all know that narcissism is one of your things, however 3 posts in a row about how fucking awesome you are is really pushing the limits of bad taste.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never met a guy who would not date a girl with big tits

9:46 AM  
Blogger 8 said...

I don't think that's fair.

One thing I have never understood is the underfed model thing. As standup comedian Dennis Leary once put it, we're happy to see tits at all, never mind what size or shape they are. As author Spider Robinson once put it, most men prefer women that look like women over women who look like boys with plums in their shirt pockets.

Although I don't know what most men want, truth be told. I have trouble figuring out what I want most of the time.

10:36 PM  
Blogger ryan said...

existential despair

2:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

different strokes for different folks ,a man with low or no self esteem only would behave the way you describe you feel,a girl with big boobs with a healthy self esteem wont find these feelings existing.

3:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I absolutely love being a man, because at the end of the day, I know I have the power to make insecure women write a bunch of "empowering" drivel on the internet to compensate for the fact that I don't want a relationship with them.

Women know what I am all about, I tell them to stay away from me, yet they still choose to sleep with me and cry about the results afterwards even when given fair warning.

It is amazing.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Samantha ampersand (sometimes) Justin said...

At the risk of reading too much into a blog called
"Sex, Drugs and Narcissism":

What is that shit! I'm an intellegent, beautiful, and fucking awesome chick, with some huge tits and hips. Guys are not into it- unless you are fucking. And then they are. Or they are too old. Like 40 too old. But it's a phenomanon- Younger guys don't want to date you if you are too sexy. It's just too much. These dudes are skinny hipsters who only look good on the street, thats the deal. We as women are going for the exact thing that we are not- people who sell the clothes. Old dudes are the only way to go, or big guys.

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

5:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

4:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a funny stuff i enjoyed reading! Literally haha :D

2:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am regular reader, how are you everybody?
This article posted at this web page is really good.
Take a look at my web blog panic attack

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Useful info. Lucky me I discovered your website by accident,
and I'm shocked why this twist of fate didn't happened earlier!
I bookmarked it.
Feel free to visit my webpage :: how to download movies

6:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Truly no matter if someone doesn't know afterward its up to other people that they will assist, so here it happens.
My site > propertyinturkeyforsale.net

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nicely, I salute your time spent, however the key to a better?
schooling method that will likely be sustainable in the future (when there's far more to understand), is to cut down the amount of time needed to discover X quantity. We ought to be having memory-competition winners and the smart men and women who write the journals as academics more than the web (just watch videos of all of the best educators, the biggest educators use voice, tone, body language etc to communicate a principle). A factory should always make a lot more with much less.

Have a look at my site marcus london 60 minute stamina is it good

7:52 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home