So I think it's pretty likely that I'll go see the Sex and the City movie. And even though I'll talk a lot of shit about it, I will totally cry. I'm a sucker for the girl movie with the group of friends... Now and Then comes to mind. The real draw is the fantasy of the show was the support group of girlfriends, who always made time for each other and never grew apart or had to move or reached the point where their drastically different values and lifestyles weren't compatible. The fact that these four women who were all, in their own ways, had pretty miserable personalities, and whose charater defects seem like the exact ways to push one another's buttons, just laughed and shopped and talked about boys. I mean, why would anyone be friends with Carrie? I've prefered to look at the four women as dimensions of a person.

But all the noise about how the show allowed women to talk about sex drives me crazy. They didn't really talk about sex so much... they talked about comittment issues and date ettiquiete and meeting men and the stages a relationship goes through and fundemental differences between men and women and reasons a relationship falls apart and break ups and moving on and what we learn from a relationship. It's a stretch to call this "talking about sex." It was mentioned and in the conversation but it wasn't the topic, it was just a joke to make. "A tea bag problem? Oh just breath through your nose hahaha." That conversation was about housekeeping. Whenever there was any topic that wasn't mainstream- Carrie goes out with a bisexual guy, Carrie is sleeping with a guy that wants to pee on her, Samantha has a threesome...it just sort of happend and isn't developed as an idea or as a plot and it's over. Carrie says nope I just can't date that guy because he's bi, and this is never challenged as maybe being narrowminded. She's working toward letting the guy pee on her but then he breaks up with her before it's developed (and that's odd, right? A bisexual guy is a deal breaker but pissing on people is not?)

The show's not about sex. It's about girls, which is fine. I want to call it out on the fact that the girls talk about relationship issues and call it talking about sex, but I can't hold that against them. Talking about sex is fun, but I don't feel the need to talk about it much with my girl friends... it's nice to compare, but I'm sort of done talking about it quickly. A conversation about a fight I had with my boyfriend would just last longer. There is more to talk about. I try not to talk about sex these days cause i just end up talking about how great it is. If it's good there's nothing to talk about. Maybe it's because my girl friends are all very different from me, but I feel like my sex life isn't relevant to them. I don't talk about my research in chemistry with my friend who's an elementry school teacher. I guess I haven't had much in common with any of my friends regarding sex since high school. At that point we were...all in the same situation. Since then any development or learning has been my own, or shared with the guy. Talking about it too much trivializes it and takes away the allure.

the Girl Movie model is really fun and I always enjoy that stuff, but honnestly I can't handle that shit in real life. Yeah the girls spent all their time talking about their boyfriends, but those relationships seemed less important to them than their being part of the group. I've beleived, for quite a while now, that you should never ever take your girl friends' advice about a guy. They can be a sounding board or a support but the advice girls have given me has always been shitty.