S: "So, I saw something the other day that made me think of you."
Me: "Oh?"
S: "Did you see the Lindsay Lohan pictures, where she was Marylin Monroe?"
Me: "Umm hells yeah. What about them?"
S: "Oh, they just made me think of you."

And just when I thought he couldn't be any sweeter...

Edited to add:

"lol, i was refering to the marylin shoot, i mean, lindsay was hot, but you're way more classic glamor than she is...lindsay is still a girl, to me, you and marylin are women ;-)....lol i mean, i'd not kick lindsay out of bed, but I was comparing you the marylin shoot, much more luxurious, and come on baby, you're an original, never a copy...i mean, i always hate revising my blog posts and i'm sure you do too, but I'm gonna have to insist, you're a marylin to me, not a lindsey"

One-A-Day Sluts

My favorite class by far right now is Advanced Biochem, and not just because the prof is one of the few young, funny, female teachers in the chem department. It's also for the fun and useful info. Yesterday our teacher, a confirmed lush, explained that if you were gonna get really really drunk, a day or two before you should load up on vitamin B. Dully noted. A little cartoon thought buble appeared over my head... a multivitamin designed for my needs!

1) Vitamain B- component of enzyme that detoxifies you of alcohol so you wake from your night of binge drinking feeling refreshed and not like vodka is coming out of your pores

2) Vitamin E- To ward off that dull, gray skin that comes from smoking and drinking and boning all night instead of sleeping.

3) Caffiene- Of course.

4) Cranberry Extract- I used to get UTIs like every time I had sex. Might be because every time I have sex I have it like, all night long. I have a problem with moderation. A day after I'd feel it coming on and be like, on campus where for some reason there is no cranberry juice to be found! My mom picked up on this, and bought me a big jar of cranberry extract capsules at Costco. I take a few before I fool around, and for the following 2 days. Haven't had a hint of a UTI.

Obviously this pill would be like, the size of a golf ball but I think it's a cool idea.

Reluctant Cock Blocking

I'm home this weekend, and today my 15 year old brother has his girlfriend visiting. I'm supposed to check on them every once in a while and make sure she's not going down on him. Last time my mom found them on the couch with her head under a blanket. My brother is very very cool, he's good looking, great at sports, and very good with girls. His girlfriend is quiet, agreeable and completely beautiful. Her parents seem not to worried about her spending the day at her boyfriend's house "watching movies," probably because she is a Good Girl. I think parents forget that Good Girls are really good at doing what they are told.

My mom has read their IM conversations (which is sick, but he did print them out and leave them in the printer?) and they mostly consist of him talking about what they're going to do to each other. She's sent him cell phone pictures of her boobs. Welcome to the club. That shit is fun. But I didn't do that till I was 20.

Maybe this is typical of 15 year old interactions, but the way they work is he sets up an afternoon, she comes over and does...something... and then she sits on the bed or couch while he watches football or plays video games. I wonder how long it will take for her to realize she should expect more of him. I mean seriously, she's so beautiful, he should be looking at her, not the tv!

When I was 15 I was sort of awkward with my boyfriend, we watched a lot of movies with a blanket over our laps, and like my brother and his girlfriend, out interactions were dominated by not wanting to say or do the wrong thing. But it was mutual, my boyfriend seemed invested and he wanted me to be comfortable and happy. Instead, I stressed over why he wasn't trying to get me to do more. I had to initiate everything advance, and as a result I was paranoid for ages that I wasn't desirable. And like Anonymous commmented, you aren't going to have any more self esteem after hooking up with someone that you started with.

I just wonder how long it's going to take my brother's girlfriend to realize that, and to figure out that she should demand what she wants instead of trying to be what she thinks he wants. It's sure taking me a long time to get that through my head (but does anyone really?) . I thought beautiful skinny girls were already like that.

So maybe it's negligent on my part but I'm not worried about them "going too far," I think she's within her right to give him head if she wants to. I just hope she doesn't let him make her watch him play video games because that shit is degrading.

Exactly!

It's really too bad, the way these things seem to work. And even understanding why something didn't work, and what you did wrong and being able to pin point the psychological mechanism that invariably ruins you doesn't make you any more capable of doing it right the next time around.

I will never be a Rules kinda girl. It's not that I don't want to play mind games or that I have some naive idea that you should always be yourself. I think I am just incapable of withholding sex as a means of negotiating. I blame this for all my problems. I understand that pursuit is important. It's like, in the first chapter of the social psych textbook. If you have to work hard for something, you're going to convince yourself that it was worth the work. The longer you wait in line to see the movie, the better you think it is. If you take a girl on lots of nice dates and bend over backwards to make her like you and she holds out on you for as long as possible, once you end up with her you aren't going to want to break up with her and admit to yourself how much time you've wasted because that would make you feel like a fool.

I do it too, I would not break up with my boyfriend a year ago because we had spent so much time together and even though we were making each other's lives miserable I didn't want to admit that I'd spent that much time screwing up my life more. I came up with ridiculous justifications, tried to tell myself that being happy all the time was for stupid people, that being unhappy was actually enlightenment, that I would be sadder without him. Obviously this was something worthwhile, or I wouldn't have put all this work in, right?

I know I make things too easy. I want you all the time, I'm happy to suck your dick, I'm thrilled when you touch me, when you make me cum I feel like there's nothing else I could want out of life. I'm saying, it doesn't take that much to make me happy. I don't have high expectations, and I am not trying to change that about myself. I've discovered I like being happy.

It's not in my nature to be challenging! It's counter intuitive to me. If I want you, I feel lucky to get you and I let you know. But I know this is effectively sabotage, clever girls know to act like you're the lucky one, like they're doing you a favor by letting you touch them. I don't mind being the lucky one. I think it's great when I get exactly what I want. I am not that good an actress, I can't pretend that I'm not turned on by you so much as looking at me, I can't pretend that I'm not dying to make you cum, and even though I know I shouldn't make it easy I just can't bring myself to do anything that would make it harder. I don't want to be a chore. I want to be the reward; for what, I don't know or care. I want to be the guilty pleasure, I want to be no work and all play.

Is there some puritanical pro-work ethic mindset that makes you think that it can't be that easy? I firmly believe that you can have it all without any suffering, if you have the presence of mind and the cognitive ability to not feel guilty for having fun. And if not, if you don't buy it, there are plenty of self righteous vindictive emasculating girls out there with hoops for you to jump through, if that helps you sleep at night.

well it's nice to feel wanted?

Back in the day (fall '05), Will and I hung out with a his best friend and his girlfriend, who was great to hang out with and one of the few decent girls I've met here, but sort of a shit show and admittedly would make a hellish girlfriend. When they had a high drama, intense, blog-aggravated break up, the guy decided he hated me because I was on his ex-gf's side. Or whatever. Since then he de-friended me on facebook, wouldn't respond or look me in the eye if I passed him and said hi or if he was with a friend would say something passive-agressively mean and threatening as they walked by. Is undeniably a mysoginist.

Got an IM from him today;

him: do you do chicks?
me: lol why?
him: my gf is bi and I'm looking for chicks to join us for some fun some time
me: that's pretty sweet for you
him: so do you swing that way?
me: I have but I'm not really into it
him: are you into any of the following: bdsm, anal, double penetration?
me: haha are you doing a survey?
him: just seeing if there is anythign you'd be into
me: nah not really
him: alright, sorry for bothering you
me: no problem
me: good luck finding someone

I wanted to say, "Mmmm yeah, I totally do girls. I've been dying for a girl, I wanna do that again soon. I was hoping I'd find some other couple who'd be into that. And to your second question, yes, all of the above. But you? Not so much. You're a cunt" Would that have been horribly bitchy, or appropriately so, considering what a douche he'd been to me? I was polite. How lame.

I don't doubt that he still hates me, but I don't think any amount of vicodin and ecstacy or any degree of a manic episode could make me not hate myself. And seriously, does he think I would answer such questions for him?

It's so unfortunate that the only appealing threesome is the random kind or the guest star kind (just not this situation, obviously. Other couples I know, however....) Props to this girl for agreeing and seemingly having such a good attitude. His old girlfriend was genuinely into girls. I woulda done it then, although more to hook up with her than with him (what?) She brought a girl back to his room with him, and then locked him out while they hooked up. Burn.

I've missed my friends.

Stacey and I are in the car with Timmy in the backseat and he says, "Yeah most of the guys in my grade just wanna get action, but I dunno, I really want, like, ya know...."

Stacey melts. "Awww Timmy! You want a relationship?" She throws her hand behind her back for a high five as she's driving "That is so mature of you, I'm so proud of you.....Ewwww did you just wipe your snot on my hand?! GROSS!"

I haven't laughed so hard in a lond time. That was so perfectly played. Serves her right. Dumbass.

Love/Hate for Sex and the City. Again.

Season 1- Carrie starts every episode talking about how experienced and jaded new yorkers are, how nothing surprises them anymore. And then10 minutes later something really normal happens and they have a fucking crisis, they all gather together to figure out what to do because they are so overwhelmed by the audacity of it all. This scene killed me-

Carrie picks up the phone “Can't talk Charlotte, I'm late for drinks with Big!... What? He said what?! I'll be right there”

They're in a cab. The guy had asked her if he could fuck her in the ass. It sounds like he didn't go about if very well, cause Charlotte seems sober. Next they pick up Miranda and she's all lawyerly, let's weigh the pros and cons.... Even Samantha is kind of surprised but admits she does it. Ohh yeah nothing surprises you. Charlotte: "I don't wanna be the up-the-butt girl! No one marries the up-the butt girl! You can't be Mrs. Up-The-Butt!" Wait, really? No? Damn it. Cabbie- "No smoking in cab!" Carrie- "Sir, we're talking up-the-butt, a cigarette is in order!"

In another episode, Samantha calls Carrie to rave about how amazing and talented and creative this guy she's sleeping with is. “We did it with him on top, me on top, me on my side, me on my face....” Carrie's all, whoa that's crazy. Is she serious? That's all pretty standard. That's like, a fraction of the last time I had sex. Samantha, I expected better from you.

Later Carrie goes out with a guy and he mentions he's bisexual. She's incredibly stupid and ignorant and almost intolerant, it's infuriating and really not at all politically correct. Carrie plays spin-the-bottle with Alanis Morisette. That part's true, me and my other ambisexual friends played a lot of boy-girl/boy-boy/girl-girl spin the bottle. I've yet to meet a girl that wasn't down with kissing another girl. Carrie is such a square.

And then Charlotte has a bf who wants to have a threesome. Who's ever heard of a guy wanting to do that? Next episode charlotte gets a vibrator. Yeah this shit is cutting edge.

That's like, the last few months of my life. And I'm 20. I don't even have that much sex. I'm a novice, by any standards. I guess the show is10 years old now, and it was like, whoa they can't do that on TV! But don't introduce yourselves as the hardened, seen-it-all, bad ass New York Sluts when you are actually impossibly sheltered.