I've missed my friends.

Stacey and I are in the car with Timmy in the backseat and he says, "Yeah most of the guys in my grade just wanna get action, but I dunno, I really want, like, ya know...."

Stacey melts. "Awww Timmy! You want a relationship?" She throws her hand behind her back for a high five as she's driving "That is so mature of you, I'm so proud of you.....Ewwww did you just wipe your snot on my hand?! GROSS!"

I haven't laughed so hard in a lond time. That was so perfectly played. Serves her right. Dumbass.

Victoria's Secret is the one that took sexy away

I can't stand it anymore; I'm never going back. Everyone knows I love lingerie but VS makes me hate it. Mostly because I hate the futuristic seamless, technologically advanced gel-filled implant-imitating fabric-developed-by-nasa crap.

They do have a few pretty soft lacey bras but not many, and not for me. My experience is always the strange alien-like stiff bra that holds exactly the same shape when it's on the floor as when I'm wearing it. And they don't respond well to movement. Laying around in bed is not what they're designed for, they seem cofused if your boobs move a bit or respond to the new realtive dirrection of gravity, and the bra awkwardly keep the same shape it had when you were standing.

And VS seems to think this is great. No seams whatsoever! All one piece, no tags, no texture at all to the fabric, no lace or bows or anything pretty, just this futuristic breast-plate that looks like a plaster cast of a manican. Oh but the worst is when I pick up a bra in the store thinking it's the right size and as soon as I touch it I recoil in disgust because it's all ready filled! They come with breasts! Ew it's soo gross, it's like there are disembodied breasts wrapped in nylon and tied to straps sitting around in the drawer.

I'm making a new rule that I will not buy anymore bras that cannot be flattened. (Trying to pack something like the "secret embrace" or "the body" is like punching those punching bag clowns that keep popping back up)

Went to Gap Body instead. I have a pink bra from there that I love, or I did before the straps started to fray and the dye wore out, but it's lasted longer than that VS shit. I found a really gorgeous blue lace balconnette today, skinny lil straps with bows on them (reminds me of the AP Love range), pretty sheer swiss dot lace in the back with matching perfectly cut boyshorts. The best part was, Gap didn't make the assumption I wanted to add an extra three inches. One layer of lace is perfect, guys. Props.

I must have been a really good girl this year

I'm getting an IPod Nano and a Diane von Fustenburg wrap dress for Christmas. How the hell did this happen?

When I go to Saks in NY with my mom I always look at clothes I'm lusting after and I usually swoon over the DvF dresses a little. I've wanted one for years and years. I'm running my hand down the sleeve of a really perfect print silk dress, with that belt tied in a knot in the middle.... That exagerated V sillhouette, on the hanger... it's very alluring, for a pile of jersey tied in knot, it kills me. My mom is rolling her eyes at me, and really, I look like a 13 year old girl falling all over herself at an Nsync concert, something like that, it's sick how in love with this dress I am.

"You might as well try it on since you've been drooling over them for years and years. It might finally disillusion you a little."

I wrap the first one around my waiste, a perfect black white and tan print with 3/4 cuffed sleeves and a collar Oh-so-appropriate, at least at the neck and the elbows. The rest looks like sex wrapped up in silk and when I put my heels back on I...can't seem to get myself away from the mirror. Of course I had to forget my cell phone that day or I would have had aa fun ittle photo shoot in the dressing room until I remembered that I had shit to do. I just can't believe how long and smooth my waist is and how perfect my ass looks, even my legs look perfect and I don't think I've ever enjoyed having tits that much, they just looked fucking amazing...

I went to show my mom.... I'm not sure if she wanted me to look like walking sex... she knows it's perfect though. The sales guy comes over and gives me an appraising up-and-down look. "Wow that dress looks great on you." Dude. I know.

Love/Hate for Sex and the City. Again.

Season 1- Carrie starts every episode talking about how experienced and jaded new yorkers are, how nothing surprises them anymore. And then10 minutes later something really normal happens and they have a fucking crisis, they all gather together to figure out what to do because they are so overwhelmed by the audacity of it all. This scene killed me-

Carrie picks up the phone “Can't talk Charlotte, I'm late for drinks with Big!... What? He said what?! I'll be right there”

They're in a cab. The guy had asked her if he could fuck her in the ass. It sounds like he didn't go about if very well, cause Charlotte seems sober. Next they pick up Miranda and she's all lawyerly, let's weigh the pros and cons.... Even Samantha is kind of surprised but admits she does it. Ohh yeah nothing surprises you. Charlotte: "I don't wanna be the up-the-butt girl! No one marries the up-the butt girl! You can't be Mrs. Up-The-Butt!" Wait, really? No? Damn it. Cabbie- "No smoking in cab!" Carrie- "Sir, we're talking up-the-butt, a cigarette is in order!"

In another episode, Samantha calls Carrie to rave about how amazing and talented and creative this guy she's sleeping with is. “We did it with him on top, me on top, me on my side, me on my face....” Carrie's all, whoa that's crazy. Is she serious? That's all pretty standard. That's like, a fraction of the last time I had sex. Samantha, I expected better from you.

Later Carrie goes out with a guy and he mentions he's bisexual. She's incredibly stupid and ignorant and almost intolerant, it's infuriating and really not at all politically correct. Carrie plays spin-the-bottle with Alanis Morisette. That part's true, me and my other ambisexual friends played a lot of boy-girl/boy-boy/girl-girl spin the bottle. I've yet to meet a girl that wasn't down with kissing another girl. Carrie is such a square.

And then Charlotte has a bf who wants to have a threesome. Who's ever heard of a guy wanting to do that? Next episode charlotte gets a vibrator. Yeah this shit is cutting edge.

That's like, the last few months of my life. And I'm 20. I don't even have that much sex. I'm a novice, by any standards. I guess the show is10 years old now, and it was like, whoa they can't do that on TV! But don't introduce yourselves as the hardened, seen-it-all, bad ass New York Sluts when you are actually impossibly sheltered.

being a good daughter

My mom is so much easier to talk to now that she's in therapy all the time. She's really not used to examining her relationships, or any kind of introspection... I swear, we are related. She seems to have never thought about this shit before! What does she think about all day? Productive things?

"At first I thought, why would he want someone like that? but the therapist says that he needs for a woman to be really impressed with him all the time"
"Yes...." No Shit!
"You might know something about this, you take all those psych classes... I'm begining to think he's a narcisist"
"Um, yeah.... I coulda told you that years ago. I could have told you that when I was 10"
"Really? I knew he thought exceedingly highly of himself, but I didn't think it would be a problem for him"
She's not really people-smart, but I didn't think she could have missed all that entirely!

oh, and later... "Apparantly I'm not enough of a fluffer." ...Sorry? A fluffer? "Some people fluff up each other's egos, some people are good at doing that and they also need people to do it for them, they need to be fluffed by their partners" Mom, stop saying fluffer.

The best part is, just for listening to this shit, which I really find fascinating, I get train tickets home and shopping trips as compensation. I'm going straight to hell.

Scrimmaging

Last night I took down a phone number- it's in my phone as Jmghm7. It's supposed to be Jon S. I wonder if the phone number is even close. Not that it matters; dude I'm not gonna call you.

Is having no game a WM thing? That Guy from a few weeks ago started out strong. Last night we're once again on the stoop, and he brushes my long bangs out of my eyes... "I want to see you" Well played, dude; well played. I'm surprised by his competence. But wait, why's your hand down my jeans? And...are you trying to unhook my bra? I know I am not the picture of class, but seriously! When I stop him he says, "Let's go back to your room" Oh, and yet you started so well! I've been here like, an hour. Wait for me to get bored and drunk. "No, I wanna go back inside, it's only like, 11!"

I got into a very interesting conversation in the corner with someone else and when I looked up, That Guy was gone. Oh well.

That Other Guy gets reeeaaally friendly. He's the "likes to cuddle on the couch" guy. Great, but then.... ohh this kills everything, ok I'm sitting back in the couch leaning forward and of course there's that uber sexy saddle bag flab shit just above the waistband of my jeans, and of all the things he could do, he was feeling that up. Ew. It's time to go. "Where are you going?... You should stay here tonight, it's cool... You sure? Ok I'll walk out with you"

I take down a phone number with way more difficulty that you'd expect. "Yeah I'll call you tomorrow"

I need new friends.
I need to transfer.

Eta: Turns out that if I had stayed over, and I had headed upstairs to crash with That Other Guy, I would have passed That Guy passed out on their couch. That would have been awesome, when we all woke up. If I'd known that, I'd have stayed because sometimes situations are so screwed up I just can't resist.